30 Things I Have Come to Love about Ohio

I know that I have been spamming you guys lately with several posts about how to be or not to be German. Sorry about that (might be a German thing), moving on - to Ohioans. I know, I couldn't believe that was a word, either! Since I have spent my last few months in this state, I am actually starting to get used to it.
So when I came across this fabulous list of things people from Ohio like (sorry, Ohioans sounds horrible!), I thought that
a) this was hilarious! Finally somebody who sees the Ohio world like me!
and
b) I HAVE to share this list with you guys.

So here it comes, y'all! Enjoy!

30-things-ohioans-love

Trouble in the Hood

Have you ever had problems with your neighbors? If you are alive and breathing and don't have a one-acre-yard between you and your neighbors, I assume you have. Well, meet my problem neighbor:
He is a happy bachelor, in his late 40s (I am assuming), still living with his parents. Since this is the US and not Latin America, this is not really acceptable. But hey, I am a tolerant person and will not judge him just because all he does is sit at home all day and yell at his parents. Actually, every time I see him, we have a friendly little chat, and in general he seems to be a very nice guy. Until he decides to put his club-size speakers on the window sill, with the window wide open, the speakers pointing directly at our room. And the real problem is not even the volume (hey, all the power to listening to music full blast), the REAL problem is his choice of music! Today's (and pretty much every day's) selection include:

- Kid Rock - "All Summer Long" (Maybe okahaay if you play it once, but not if you play it 7 times ... and yes, I counted!)

- Texas - "I don't want a lover" (Torture! Especially if followed by the entire album in which every song sounds exactly the same ... it actually took me a while to realize that it was an album, and not just one song on "repeat".)

- Adele - "Chasing Pavements" (I don't even mind Adele, but, again: one time is enough, you don't need to be chasing pavements 6 times in a row!)

- George Michael (And we are talking 80s really cheesy George Michael - is there even another George Michael??? - do I need to say more?!)

And this is about as diverse as it gets, for now 4 hours straight!!!!! I have contemplated throwing a big rock at his speakers as well as manipulating his electric circuit but neither my aiming nor my technical skills are good enough so I had to abandon both plans.

I know that you wonder: "Why not do the obvious, and go over and ask him to turn down his music?" Well, I am afraid of the consequences should he turn down his music. The last time I asked my neighbors (a young, and very much in love couple) to turn down their TV which they had turned on at the strangest hours, I realized that the sounds that were covered up by the TV were ... well, let's just say, I would have preferred the TV instead. So for now, George Michael, Kid Rock and ear plugs it is!

The Importance of (not) Being German

I knew it! All this traveling must have affected my somehow. Now I have proof: I am not really German (any more ... on the maybe very wild assumption that I ever was!).

How do I know? I took the German quiz ... and I failed it: http://www.thegermanquiz.com/. The result: I am only 57% German, waaaaay below average. And what can I say?

1. Kipping your windows always seemed ridiculous to me. For the non-Germans reading this: windows in Germany can be tilted open, that's what we call "kippen" and it seems to be some sort of unwritten law for German households that windows need to be kipped at all times. For me, to be very blunt, that is just stupid. You either have your windows open or closed, leave me alone with all this kipping!

2. Sparkly water. I don't like it. Okay, I like Apfelschorle (sparkly water mixed with apple juice), but this is about as far as I will ever go. I don't do sparkly water by itself, it hurts my throat, and I really don't understand why water has to be fizzy at all. I also find all the different degrees of sparkly water (yessss, in every German supermarket you can find a wide selection, from very sparkly water and less sparkly water,over slightly sparkly water, to extremely sparkly water) very unnecessary.




3. Klugscheissen, which is the German way of being a smart ass. If somebody mispronounces a name, gets a date wrong by one day, or doesn't know the score of the Argentina-Germany game in the 2006 world cup, you correct them right away, with a slightly annoyed, know-it-all undertone, stretching out the last syllable and raising your voice at the end: "His name was not Roobespierre but Robespieeeeeerrree!" Personally, I find it rude, unnecessary, and in my opinion, the only purpose of Klugscheissen is to boost your own ego. Not that Germans actually mean to be rude or even think of it as offensive ... it's just what they do.


4. Recycling. The German holy cow. You cannot touch it. You cannot question it. And you can never publicly disregard it! I, on the other hand, don't care. Recycling by people actually has been proved to be inefficiant and they throw all the garbage back together to have it sorted out by machines, that do a better job anyway. They are just scared to tell the German public. You can't take away their five garbage cans any more! So here, I'll just go ahead and say it: I don't care whether the yogurt package goes in the black or the yellow can!!!

So while there clearly still is some German well hidden, deep down inside me, (http://wanderstrudel.blogspot.com/2013/07/how-to-be-german.html), this test proves it: I can now officially call myself an Ausländer!